The blog below is an edited version of a blog I published on my old blog site about a year ago. I hope you’ll find it especially  helpful as you embrace the true meaning of Easter this season. -RM

WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?

I asked that question in a presentation I did for an industry conference yesterday. Today, at lunch with a new colleague from that conference, we became engaged in a discussion about men’s issues and the way society is headed. (I’ll address the “coincidental” nature of our having lunch another time)

The thing that struck me as we talked is that society is currently in a dead sprint. I mean we are all running. While we think we are running AFTER something, I would maintain that, in a spiritual sense, we are all running FROM something. But, what is that? What IS going on that we are seemingly all running AWAY from something?

It seems to me that society is currently running as fast as it can from….
Continue reading What’s Going On Here? →

Note from Robby: This is an edited re-post of a previous post from my old blog location. This entry was originally published in February, 2010

As I have dealt with challenges over the last few months and years, I’ve often fought a battle within to also deal with my guilt. More specifically, I’ve fought the perceptions I have of myself that are fueled by comments others can make. Someone sat and looked me in the eye last Spring, and reminded me over and over and over of a very simple truth. The conversation went something like this:

“Robby, God loves you,” my friend said.

“Yes, I know that,” I replied.

“No, listen to me. God really loves you,” he said.

“I get that,” says I.

“No, I want you to really hear me. God knows you, and every wrong thing you’ve ever done. But, Robby, God loves you.”

Finally after 4 or 5 rounds of this kind of dialogue, I finally stopped and allowed myself to absorb, maybe for the first time in my life, exactly what my friend was saying. My former pastor had a saying he always shared with new members to our congregation. He says:

“I’ll never do anything to intentionally hurt you, and you will never do anything that will make me not love you.”

Now, that’s a wonderful outlook for a pastor to share with his people. But, even though I heard him say that for 20 years , it was only a few years ago that I realized how Godly that saying is. For you see, no matter what we’ve done, no matter what we think, or read, or get upset over, no matter how many people we hurt, or think we’ve hurt, GOD STILL LOVES US ANYWAY!

Now, I don’t know where your journey has taken you to this point, and I don’t know how close to God, or how far away from God you feel. However, I do know this one thing. He loves you! He knows you, knows everything about you, knows everything you’ve ever done, knows everything you are going through, and yet, he loves you anyway. Even if you would say, “But, you don’t know how angry I’ve been at God,” or, “You have no idea what I have really done,” even then, I can say with the confidence of His Holy Word to back me up…

GOD LOVES YOU ANYWAY!

“So what?” you might ask now. “Who cares?” or, even, “how is that supposed to help me?”

Well, I guess I can’t answer all of that for you, but for me, it has meant EVERYTHING! Knowing that God loves me allows me to quit trying to get acceptance from others around me. It lets me know that being who He made me to be is all right. It allows me to realize when I’ve done wrong, humbly confess it before Him, and then…MOVE ON!

And it allows me to face trials and challenges in this life knowing that no matter how I handle them, I will be loved on the other side. No matter what I might lose, if I cling to His love for me, then use that knowledge to listen to what He has to say about my current struggle, I will find peace in the storm, confidence in the time of fear, and perspective in the crisis. Knowing I am His, through the sacrifice of His Son Jesus, and knowing that as His child, I am loved, means knowing I have a true Father that has my best interest in mind.

I hope you have that assurance today. If not, find that old Bible you have somewhere, or pick one up, or let me know you need one, and let God show you His love for YOU, yes, YOU…all over again! I hope you use these thoughts to propel you forward with more confidence in our Heavenly Father’s love for you than you place in the earthly love of others. He will NOT let you down!

Have a great, and well-loved day!

Note from Robby: This is an edited re-post of a previous post from my old blog location. This entry was originally published in November, 2010

I know I’ve posted on this before, but I was reminded again this morning of a few simple truths about God’s Grace vs. The Law….namely:

1) The law leads to only one place. Death.

2) The U.S. has more “laws” than any country in Europe, but yet cannot build jails fast enough to meet the need. What better evidence that the “law” accomplishes nothing in and of itself?

3) The Bible speaks of the believer being “In Christ” TEN TIMES MORE OFTEN than it speaks of Christ “being in us.”

4) As Neil Anderson has so eloquently put it in his book, “Victory Over The Darkness”, we are NOT sinners saved by Grace…we are now Saints who occasionally sin.

Are you still burdened with the need to fulfill the law? Are you still trying to be “good enough?” Do you really accept that NOTHING you can do will ever EARN God’s Grace? Jesus did all the “doing” necessary!

Are you living a victorious, grateful, and energetic life in the knowledge that His Grace is enough for you? Don’t let Satan steal this truth from you, dear friend!

Go in Victory today!

Note from Robby: This is an edited re-post of a previous post from my old blog location. This entry was originally published on Saturday, January 23, 2010

Over the last several months, I’ve grown more and more curious about what people have been through, or are going through. Here’s why…

For years, and I mean YEARS, I thought that if folks would just “Trust God” with their lives and marriages, then all this strife, and divorce, and infidelity, and selfishness, and all that jazz just didn’t necessarily have to be. I even thought that anyone who couldn’t overcome all that to “hold it together” (don’t you love that term?) was just not being Spiritual enough. Yes, I was one of those. We (my former wife and I) even taught a Sunday School class on marriage topics for several years to try and help stem the divorce tide – even within our own church. It was really successful, by typical “church” measures, because I made it fun, and we talked about all sorts of stuff (yeah, ALL of it – and in a Baptist church!).

Anyway, I’ve learned that I only did that to be in a place of acceptance by other people. And, I’ve ultimately learned that I spent most of our 23+ years of marriage basing my self-worth on what my wife thought of me. So, I NEVER was totally honest, or even truthful about far too many things… not with myself, or my wife… not if I thought it would mean disappointing her, or having her disapprove of me. Funny, I did some stupid things to break her trust, but it all resulted from me never TRUSTING her enough to be open and share truth with her.

So, while I am, or try to be, a Spiritual person (Christian, Baptist, believe in right and wrong, Jesus is the only way, all that kind of stuff), I ultimately also learned that the GREATEST gift God gave us was the Grace that goes with Salvation. And, if we are to “be of the same mind as Christ” as the Bible says, it is going to mean that we’ve got to give out a LOT of grace ourselves. Not that we can make ourselves into rag dolls, or punching bags, but we can learn to love for what can be, not withhold love for what has happened. In fact, I believe that even though my missteps cost me a marriage, there is still a purpose that God has for me, and He expects me to be about that purpose. You see, our purpose in Him is still the greatest calling we have. We clearly serve at least some of that purpose for our life by being a spouse, or a parent to our children, or in some ministry within our church. I serve it in using my specific talents and gifts in how I serve within my church (not to mention how those gifts fit with my job).

So, I can’t help but believe sometimes that God has intended to educate me on balancing LAW (living right just because it is right) and GRACE (understanding that I have the opportunity to live right today even if I messed up yesterday) so that I can help others see the value in BOTH.

So, why on earth did I write all that? NOT for some elaborate truth of Scripture. NO, the REAL reason:

I ache for what I see others going through…maybe even you, the reader, for whatever reason…so I want to offer you some encouragement. I know you want to have answers, or have this current challenge over with. I don’t know the details of that challenge, nor do I need to know. However, I hope even in this time, that you understand that you are still more than just your kids parent, or a spouse, or an employee. You are His  child (God’s if that’s not clear). He loves you, he knows you, and he knows all that is going on with you. Let me restate part of that…

He KNOWS YOU, and HE LOVES YOU! How HUGE is that?

So, if you need some encouragement beyond “convincing yourself” that you are OK, know it because He says it: You are OK.

Hear this phrase all over again as I did recently:

Jesus Loves Me, This I Know…for the BIBLE tells me so. Period.

Note from Robby: This is another in a series of previously published posts from my former blog site. This one was originally published on Saturday, November 9, 2013.

I spoke at length with a friend today who shares some common struggles with me. However, it was interesting to listen to how the ROOTS of his issues were based in some totally different places than mine had been. While I was previously a passive, afraid-to-make-a-mistake husband and leader, my friend talked about how he had been a controlling, directive, overbearing leader. The thing we shared was that our shortcomings and struggles had threatened our marriages. I didn’t get on a path to doing things right in time to save mine. He did. “So what?” you ask?
Well, one of the things we discussed is what happens for the “offended” when you have made changes in your life, and are on your way toward becoming who you should be. Does it matter what you were before when it comes to how your relationship gets rebuilt? Well, it seems to me that yes, it does… and no, it doesn’t. Hang with me just a minute longer…

A man who finally (FINALLY!) begins to get it… get what God wants him to be… get that he can only do it with God’s help… get that HE IS THE PROBLEM… that man realizes that there will be some things he will need to do in leading his wife and family that will not be easy, or popular. But, if that man was previously a passive, never in charge, unwilling-to-lead type of man (as so many are), his path to become that loving, caring, and sometimes STRONG leader will be more about BELIEF. His wife and family will only BELIEVE he is going to lead consistently when he does so over time. After all, he has seldom done it before, right?

For the man who previously was overbearing, overly controlling, or other similar types of misplaced leadership, his challenge is to overcome his wife and family’s FEAR. Every time he begins to exert leadership that requires him to contradict what his family may “want” to do, he has the potential to be accused (or even to be guilty) of slipping into his previous leadership issues and styles. For them, it’s the thought of, “Here he goes again…”

So, what’s a fella to do? How do we create an environment that builds trust, while also exerting the sometimes necessary “strong” leadership that our families need (and really desire)?

First, we have to remember that our leadership is modeling God’s love for our family. That means that we must do everything with love being evident above all. No matter the decision or other need for our family (except imminent danger like a house on fire), we must be sure the moment and situation have love present. If we can’t take the time required to achieve that understanding, it may be a sign that God is telling us to wait on that particular issue. We must not miss those signals!

Second, we have to be open. I mean really, really OPEN! We have to admit our struggle to strike the right balance with our loved ones and friends. We should let them know that we want them to be quick to speak up when they see us striking a wrong balance or pressing too hard.

Finally, we need to give our loved ones the opportunity to share their trust issues and/or their fears with us. When they do, we can’t take offense, or take their concerns lightly. We must instead see their concerns as valid, real, and needing time and then respond accordingly.

Trust is never guaranteed, but getting trust back into a broken relationship will really take time. It will take patience, and it will take love. We lead best in a restoration situation when we realize those things, and make sure that we are moving forward with everyone on board with us!

How do you find your way through relationship challenges, fixes, and the progress of restoration? What are your frustrations and struggles in that process? It’s important to let God be in charge of it, but it’s important to realize where you are coming from and how that may impact the path forward.

Go love on someone today, and let them know what they mean to you! Lead when necessary, but love at all times, hmm?

Note from Robby: I’m going to re-post several older blog posts in this new, hopefully more permanent location for my blog. I hope you find this one on “Laughter” uplifting today.

Ever wonder why people laugh? Ever wonder how?

Well, I just love watching people laugh. I really love it when they’re just laughing about harmless stuff and fun w/ one another. Even if they’re being offensive, or “rowdy.” I still enjoy seeing people happy. We all feel better when we can feel happy.

But, what makes us “feel” happy? Is it the fun we have with others? Is it the fun we have at the expense of others? And, what is happy anyway?

For many who profess to be Christians, being happy is a struggle to overcome their own guilt, shame, and shortcomings. They may be sad because of others, but in many cases, their lack of happiness is about their own doings… their own sins… their own guilt. That kind of sadness, or that lack of happiness, is built on one simple thing… works.

But faith and works are different. While faith without works is dead (see James 2:20 and 2:26), works without faith is misplaced. And, counting on our works (or our performance, or our CONformance to some standard and expectation); without FIRST placing our faith in Christ in its appropriate place in our life, will only lead to frustration. We either behave really well, and feel “OK” about ourselves, or we struggle and fail over and over. In either case, we don’t find real, lasting, sustainable (hard word) happiness.

Here’s the bottom line, in Romans 14:22, Paul tells us:

“The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.”

In other words, lean on your faith, let God speak to you and INTO you through it, and then go and live. Live in the way He leads, guides, and MAKES YOU WANT TO LIVE! Don’t keep measuring yourself against somebody’s standard, or some futile notion of perfection. Just let God speak, heal, love, and shape you. Then, when you are seeking out what you should do, what He has placed in you will come out of you! And when you see HIM coming out of YOU, I can promise you… you will be HAPPY! You may even laugh out loud!

Have a great, and laughter filled week!

Well, although I’ve copied one post over from my previous blog location, you are now looking at my new blog home! So, welcome! I hope you find some poriton of what I put here to be helpful to you or others. But, most of all, I hope we can all be entertained a little along the way.

I look forward to your thoughts on my… um … thoughts… 🙂

Peace and blessings!

R

Sometimes, I’m just dying to write, but don’t know what I have to say. Sometimes I’m just not sure. But, today, I just want to reiterate my desire to help folks see that – no matter what they’ve heard, thought, or been taught – God is NOT a judgmental, rules-based, “so holy He can’t deal with your sin” kind of God. God is LOVE. Says so right there in the Bible. I’m talking about that same Bible that so many have used to place guilt, pressure, and judgment on others. I should know, I’ve been that person before! Continue reading Sometimes, You Just Don’t Know What To Say…But Then Again… →